There have been times in my life when I have read or heard something that touched me at the soul level and led to a profound opportunity for personal change. I wrote about one of those opportunities related to the detailed accounting of our finances (Be Self-Aware: Your Greatest Asset Might Also Be Your Greatest Detriment). Another profound opportunity for change came a couple of months ago. It started with a comment from a healer about the negative impact a lifetime of caregiving has had on my physical and emotional health. That same week, I was reading a book about empaths, and the author suggested that we should not allow others to attach their energy cords to us as a way to support their own lack of personal energy. The author was also suggesting that we needed to focus on self-care giving. As is often the case when I am about to make a profound change, my spirit guide Holly had her take on this issue.
Holly: Feeling, from a young age, that being the responsible one would keep you safe, lessen your stress, and somehow heal familial dysfunction was a path to life-long hypervigilence, perfectionism, and need for control. It is good that you now see how your lifelong role as a caregiver has been to your own detriment. By feeling the need to anticipate and try to prevent the discomfort of others, you have continued a pattern created as a young girl who, on a regular basis, experienced stomachaches, headaches, and anxiety. And those health issues were met with demeaning mislabeling that you were “too sensitive” or a “hypochondriac.” The truth, as you now see it, is that she was taking on the energy of others, and she was becoming overwhelmed and sick. YOU were becoming overwhelmed and sick. But now, sweet friend, you are waking up to all the ways you have been a caregiver and an energetic sponge for others. You are aware of your tendency to jump in and take care of situations, people, and things. But over the course of the next few months, you will see how maintaining your own energy will have a positive impact on health issues you have dealt with for decades. So we encourage you to hold a space for others during their challenging times while simultaneously holding a space for yourself and your precious energy.
I made a mental commitment to this profound change, and as is usually the case after a commitment like this one, I was tested that same morning. The tree outside our apartment window was cut back using a chainsaw. Not only did I witness the severe “pruning,” I heard the high-pitched whine of the chainsaw. I stood at the window and held space for the tree and for myself, as this tree was one of my favorite things about our apartment. This incident may seem inconsequential to many of you, given the profound challenges facing people worldwide, but I knew this was a small first-step opportunity for me to hold my personal energy in a way that supported my health and personal growth. It was also an opportunity for me to realize all the ways, big and small, I have so willingly given up my energy and left myself depleted. But now that I was aware, I could begin to change!
We encourage all of you to notice the many and varied ways you willingly give up your personal energy, whether it is to world events, family members, co-workers, plants, animals, and the list goes on. Once you are aware of this pattern, you can invite yourself to practice self-care giving while holding space for others who are struggling to maintain their own energy. Soul Bridge Coaching and Holly, November 2, 2021